Poor Baby

It's hard seeing your children sick.  Not just for children with chronic illness', but for any parent.  For parents like me though, it is just a little harder sometimes.  The doctors found out that LJ has para influenza when they did a nasal swab today.  They are still waiting for his blood cultures to make sure nothing else is going on besides that though.   So, this is something like a bad cold they told me.  Of course I looked it up, and he does have all the symptoms.  They keep telling me that he probably caught it last time he was in the hospital, and he didn't start having symptoms until he got home because it takes a few days to manifest itself.  Like that's suppose to make me feel better or something.  I hate seeing him like this.  He is coughing non stop, and his nose is running like a faucet; it's red from me wiping it so much.  He's been throwing up and his diarrhea is back...wonderful!  He only had a break from that for all of a day and a half.  My baby is such a trooper usually, but when he gets sick like this, it kicks his butt.  He's really tearing at my heart too cuz all he keeps saying is he is scared and wants to go home.  Now, I'm use to him saying h wants to go home, but the scared thing is what's got me.  I just wanna break down, but I gotta be strong for him.  I just wish I could do more.   It's like, as a mother your children look at you like their savior, and when you can't help them, or make it better, you feel powerless, and I feel that way more often than not given everything that my little man goes through.  It's tough right now, but things will get better real soon.

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