Update on my trip to the Emergency room

So, I finally went to see the neurologist after the seizure that I had out of the clear blue sky a few weeks ago.  After doing some more testing, and a long discussion about my family, and personal history, ....I still have nothing.  The doctor has no idea what is going on as of this point. He did have me schedule a repeat EEG, I was told that I had one in emergency, but he couldn't find the results.  So I have to go back, and get these wires hooked up to my scalp for 90 min to see what happens, if they find any answers as to why this happened.   That's scheduled for 10/23, so I'll let y'all know how it goes.   It's so frustrating, and extremely scary to think about all the possibilities.  I always try to be a positive person when it comes to tough situations like this.  I know from experience, that positive thinking truly does yield positive results.  I can't let my imagination run wild until I actually know what is going on.

Today for example though, my baby is sick.  He has a cold, and it's kicking his little butt.  He has a runny nose, and a little cough.  Just looking at him, watching him battle something so simple as a cold, knowing that it is never simple with him... I get scared.  Not just scared about his cold getting worse, but scared about not being 100% for him.  I am my baby's rock.  I am all he has, just like he's all I have.  When it really comes down to it, there is NO ONE who can take care of my baby even close to the way I do.  From medications, to eating, to appointments, and even just what he likes, there is no one who could assume that responsibility if need be, and that is scary for me.  My son does not have his father, and even though all of his grandparents are alive and well, as far as I know, LJ doesn't have a real relationship with any of them, for different reasons.  That is fine and well, I have done a great job alone, and I can continue to, as long as I'm ok.  I have to worry about my baby's well being at all times, and I have to make sure I am well enough to take the best care of him.

Got a lot on my mind today, but I know that God gonna work it out for me.  Even when it seem like he not working, he is definitely on the job.

Stay Blessed Everyone!